We’re currently in the process of decorating which is stressful at the best of times and for me a bit of a nightmare. A large part of my OCD is the need to have everything in its place and doing certain rituals and checking to prevent the high anxiety and worry that something bad will happen if these checks are not performed. A lot of the items I’d usually check have been put into storage meaning I can’t do my OCD reassurances.
The first few days I was a complete mess; hysterically crying and having several panic attacks. However over the last few days I haven’t felt so bad. It’s definitely gotten easier and it feels strangely liberating dealing with the panic head on and not burying it under false promises and unnecessary bargaining.
Another big change is that a lot of my books are now unavailable to me in storage. I actually can’t believe I’m about to type this but my Kindle has become my new best friend! I can’t keep rummaging through boxes of books looking for a specific title and so I’ve been reading more on my Kindle. I used to read one or two books a month on it if that but now the last four books I’ve read on the date that I’m writing this post have been on my Kindle. This is a huge deal for me as you’ll know if you’ve read my ‘OCD, The Kindle and Me’ post. I literally don’t know what I’d have done without my Kindle these past couple of weeks.
The stressful process of decorating has been a bit of a blessing in disguise forcing me to confront a few of my OCD related issues. I’ve definitely become more comfortable reading on my Kindle and only hope that I don’t revert back to my old ways once we’ve finished decorating. That’s not to say that I no longer love my physical books. I do still prefer them but now being able to read on my Kindle too is a welcome bonus. I’m so proud that I’ve reached my goals for project learning to love my Kindle. Although some may think overcoming an OCD related fear of Kindle reading is a bit strange and trivial it’s one step closer to overcoming all aspects of my OCD that have ultimately controlled my life for years and I couldn’t be happier!
